CHAPTER 13: THE DAY HE OPENED MY EYES 2022
The Day I realized that I was not alone and that someone was watching, coaching caring — perhaps even rallying about my direction. That Someone also had the power to assist me, change my life and deliver me from the hands of fate into the hands of destiny. My job was to listen, identify what was happening and re-direct ..in Christ. Listen to who, you might say — ah, there it is, Chapter 13 — The Day He Opened My Eyes …
In those days — I never meant to hurt me. Nothing paid off. Nothing worked quite well enough. Everything had potential and it seemed nothing could stop me. It all should’ve worked. But it didn’t. Thank God. In my never ending battle with myself, my mind and all the projects headed straight for fame and fortune. He interrupted. I remember clearly. That night was going to be different, I was going to get “the deal,” a contract — and go huge. I was right about one thing, truly it was about to be different, but not in the way I’d planned. About 11:45 PM on that night, God spoke. He said, “I did not prepare you for this.” It was as casual of a statement as pass the gravy at dinner. So casual, I remember it as if it was only a moment ago. I had never experienced anything like it before, ..or after.
I listened and heard it again. A clear voice. The same thing. “I did not prepare you for this.” How did I know it was God? I didn’t. It was alarming. I looked around to see if anybody else heard it. Nobody else heard it. A voice in my head spoke — simply, clearly, directly. To say it scared me would be too much, frightened would be incorrect, rather I was paying attention. I tried to navigate this moment, process, but it was “go” time in my life and this was interrupting. And then.. I got sick, really sick. I left the event, there was no choice, I couldn’t stay. My plans were stopped. I found myself at home for days, everything I thought I needed to do, I couldn’t do it. And the next day and the next wasn’t any better. I didn’t know what to do. I was broken, and the sick was taking me apart. I was alone, with my thoughts, and an extremely high temperature. The voice I’d heard, it must’ve been the fever.., surely, that is what happened. What else could it be? Should I call for an ambulance, I felt it was already too late. What, I thought, was happening! The sick, the fever, that was the problem. But, it wasn’t the sick, was it? It was Him and I began to know that and in that knowing I experienced for the first time in my life — terror. Hour after hour, I got worse. The phone was ringing, I couldn’t get to it, the service clicked off, for back in those days you could hear the message coming through. There was nothing, nobody to help. Suddenly I just quit “being.” Odd phrase, right? I quit “being.”
Psalm 107:17-18
Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
My life, what had I done with it? What difference had I accomplished for the good of anything? What was happening to me? And then a thought came to me. “Pray.”
Psalm 107:19
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.
So I did. These are the words I spoke. “God, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never known what to do exactly, tell me what to do and I’ll do it, put it in front of me so I know — every day from now on and I promise I’ll do it. Whatever you have given me, show me what to do with it. Take this away from me and I promise I’ll do whatever you put in front of me, because then I’ll know.” That was my prayer. I got up. It was gone. Whatever “it” was, “it” was gone.
Psalm 107:20
20 He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.
That was me. And a journey began. Everything I had learned in my life, everything He used, my experience, history, mistakes, stories, adventures, all of it now is my testimony. I share it, and know the difference — now — of what is with Christ and what is without Him.
Romans 8:28
New International Version
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
Did He answer my prayer that night? Has He shown me what to do? Have I kept my promise? Yes, and yes. However, I’ve learned you can’t out give God. I’ve done everything He has put in my path. Not good all the time, but I throw myself at whatever is next. I have learned to ask Him to help me on these tasks. He does. Christ is full of challenges for me, I was not a rock star in the Lord, nor was a game changer. My mind’s eye of such things was incorrect. He stopped me, mended me, taught me, loved me — He would take away things not needed, leave precious gifts and then teach again. I learned His meaning of game changer and rock star, not mine. Had I achieved my original goals before Him, I’d most assuredly be dead, the lifestyle of the rich and famous would’ve definitely brought me to the end.
Psalm 32:8
New International Version
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
I realized how immature my resume reflected my actions, my heart, my desires, what I’d thought, all of it — pointless and incredibly hurtful to me and so many along my path. That is a hard pill to swallow. There has been so much to accomplish in His name, not mine. I had already done so much and yet without Christ, none of it would matter, with Him, all of it will matter.
Psalm 37:23
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, “when” he delights in his way.
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Magic tricks are for kids, tricks are of the world, short term, slight of hand — Miracles, on the other hand, are of God and they are long term game changers — in them He is with you, for you. This path takes a steady pace, all day every day. Ask for the Grace of God, He gives it freely for the taking. Set down the false God of money, property and prestige – it yields nothing good. Only in God will I prevail.
Titus 2:11-12 New International Version (NIV)
11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.
12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,
No is a complete sentence. When it comes to going backwards, No is a complete sentence. God works in me daily — to deliver me “from the hands of fate into the hands of destiny.” What does that mean? God never meant me to be mediocre or you, everyone of you is a great work of God to be realized. Let it happen. Pray.
Romans 11:29
English Standard Version
29 For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.
Let Him make you a rock star the way He wants to do it. It’s in you, He put it there. Turn it on, flip the switch and live. Our own selfishness drives us to less than what we could ever be. Left to our own device we will sell ourselves short. Spinning our wheels, chasing “important,” is a dead end. Left to ourselves we sell out, sell ourselves and our children. Be patient with what He’s given you, let Him cultivate you. The roadblock of chapter 13 is deceit, foolishness, lack of knowledge, stubbornness, arrogance, haughty and stupid. God is a verb — He requires the work, a constant recalculation — to cover all of it, study, prayer, responsibility, balance — but it’s better than wondering who likes you and who doesn’t. The daily dance with our list of blessings to be done is just that. A magnificent choreography of you and your spiritual nature, moving in and out of life’s challenges and God’s training, realizing the power given in the Holy Spirit.
Habakkuk 2:3
English Standard Version
3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.
Matthew 12:33 New International Version (NIV).
33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.
The Original Blueprint of you. I think of that often. What would He have made of me had I known better? Could I still achieve such a thing — even now, late in the game, after so much has happened?
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Pray to Him and let the Holy Spirit be your guide. Chapter 13, The Day He Opened My Eyes. You see, my friends, my eyes were always open, there was just way more to see. I assure you of this, in God’s plan, the enemy hates you and will hunt you and destroy you, in God you are invincible, in a moment of weakness we all are vulnerable. Sin is real, and the consequences of it are as they have always been. Catastrophic. He is here, He is with you, He is your salvation.
2 Corinthians 3:17
New International Version
17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Amen.
