CHAPTER 26: LEAVING PEOPLE WITH THEIR DIGNITY
Why have such a chapter? Leaving people with their dignity? What is such a thing? People are people, they do what they do, right? What does dignity have to do with me? Leave people their dignity — when, how? All questions I’ve asked myself. Before I can explain how, let’s start with when. When is it necessary to leave people with their dignity? The answer always comes back the same. When people are not doing what I want them to do, or they refuse to do what I want them to do, or they disagree with I want them to do, or a person just flat out disagrees with me and decides to do what they want to do in spite of whatever effect it has on anybody, anything, and especially the big one — they don’t care how it effects me.
1 John 3:9
New King James Version
9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.
I try and remember that scripture in this lesson, because doing that scripture proves to be nearly impossible. It requires the grace and mercy of God, from Him, with Him, as He has done with me, so must I do for Him. In there lies the challenge. My job is to care about people, help people, manage people and teach people — when they are unlovable, unteachable and unmanageable. It can be a daunting task — it can also be very rewarding — it can also be rewarding for a time as people choose a course correction for the better and then people decide to change course and go backwards — suddenly the rewards fade. There’s also an ebb and flow of people doing and not doing what I want them to do. Some call that a relationship. In my line of work it is not a relationship, it is a calling, an appointment, a responsibility, a crucial position that stands in the gap of sanity and insanity and I must push, against all odds to engage.
My job is to push back an invisible enemy that strikes against all that will absolutely destroy dreams and hopes. The enemy has a name. “Ignorance.” Ignorance comes in all forms, I’ll mention a few — arrogance, ego, rebellious, self-righteous, indignant. There are more. When I am faced with Ignorance, it would seem there is no way out, I’m going to lose the argument, those arguing against me are going to win the argument thusly losing the point — a point which could be the winning ticket to catastrophic failure.., and there is nothing I can do about it.
Perhaps, you can identify such problems. Here’s one: a drunk that is going to drive, a person who is going to cheat, an entitled moment to spend money or commit funds that are not available, causing debt naming it an “investment”, authorizing the character assassination of me — in order to support an illegitimate point. If you’re following me so far — you’ll identify how difficult, given the situation, it would be to leave a person their dignity, a person acting in this way would only be more committed to an egregious cause against me and all that is good. Scripture is challenging for me in this respect, a better word might be “it’s hard, the direction of scripture.”
Titus 2:7-8 ESV
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
My job is to give direction, navigate, move people clearly and correctly, not in my opinion, no — opinions have no place in leadership — problem solving based on historical evidence is the only path, methods that are tried and true, teachers who are correct and have passed the test of discernment of what is right.
You see, there are incorrect teachers everywhere, pushing people into bad situations in the name of all things good. You and I best not entertain or commit funds to such people. Being a correct teacher is at times not popular – and a very big responsibility.
James 3:3
New International Version
3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
People don’t let me leave them with their dignity when their spirit has been compromised and the need to be right overtakes the need to be correct. IT IS INCUMBENT ON ME TO TRY ANYWAY. I mean really try, not kind of try, really try. The amount of trying varies. Believe me, I have watched people fight for their right to be stupid. And as advertised common sense is not so common and stupid is very expensive. Bingo. We begin.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;
As owner/operator of a business I need all kinds of people and they all don’t get along with each other or me. Learning to respect people is a job for sure, especially if you don’t care for them or like them. That’s a whole lesson in itself, but the “short, Cliff Note version” of Chapter 26 is “leaving people with their dignity.” I’ve often said; “I can have anything I want in this life if I’m willing to work with people I don’t like.” Yea, that is an original for sure. People are so bent on blowing up the moment it may be impossible for the relationship to continue. Tough concept for sure.
You are either the peace maker or you’re not. I do want to point out that the person you are fighting for, the person standing against you for common sense will label you as incompetent and your presentation, although correct, verifies and disqualifies you in the disagreement — it is maddening. Still I must try.
Matthew 5:9
New International Version
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
What about stubborn people? What about people who are dead wrong? What’s the difference between a bad day and bad fit with people? Our fiduciary duty as CEOs requires us to lead, teach and inspire (LTI). People need supervision. I check in on everything and everybody in my life. It’s the only way I can stay straight and keep the business straight.
God is my partner and all that He is given me is mine to care for, nurture, work with. If I don’t do that the yield will reflect failure a little at a time or all at once. It’s tough. How do I leave people their dignity in these tough challenges?
Titus 2:7-8
New International Version
7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
By the grace of God, we accept direction and are better for it. You are in charge. You have been given much and much is required as scripture says.
Still, what do I do — clearly someone who is under my authority, responsibility, a student, client, loved one — what do I do when I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the path being taken is not a good one. If I take right, wrong, good and bad out of it, if I remove all my judgement, still – based on historical evidence, empirical knowledge — my direction is to stop, this thing will not work, this thing a person is about to do will cost and not yield.
Psalm 32:9
New King James Version
Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, Else they will not come near you.
I, in these terribly challenging situations try and calm myself, not catch the insanity bug — because it is most important that I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that if I fail to make my point — this person is destined to a road alone and tragic. We feel this way about our children, we watch them choose those things that waste their time, years and years wasted in rebellion and tragedy, yet we love them and hope that even in our anger against their choices — they realize our aim is true, what is in the heart is love and hope for good things to prevail in their lives. Such is that in leadership, with those who have been given to us for teaching and inspiration, our partners, employees — our relationships.
Remembering these things may allow me to temper my presentation just enough, so that a person may escape the spirit of resistance and stubborn and run back to correct before it’s too late. The very first lesson about leaving people with their dignity, is that I have to maintain my own dignity, leave myself in a dignified position, an example of win/win, good direction, a teacher, problem solver.
A Godly reprimand has love in it, however it never yields to foolishness, yours or mine. Listen, Identify and Redirect people. Hear their explanation and/or their complaints. Identify with the information, never co-sign inconsistent, irreprehensible, unconscious, selfish, immature behavior. Then, brilliantly return people back to work, if they will allow themselves to be directed according to the rules. Do not give up — be still sometimes, don’t be still sometimes, be discerning and correct.
2 Corinthians 9:7
English Standard Version
7 Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
When you have been put in charge of a situation govern with love, understanding and a strong directive. A plan. It’s not so simple to do, not by a long shot. In this situation I am faced, it would seem, with an immovable rock.
2 Timothy 2:24
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness
Sometimes it doesn’t sound so gentle, people want to be right, even when right is not right.
Proverbs 21
New King James Version
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the hearts.
To do righteousness and justice Is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.
There are four principals taught here in ‘turnaround’, today I focus on Number 2:
“Always supportive, slightly detached and always-always equal.”
I am never above or below anyone, I am slightly detached to observe without harm, remaining equal and supportive wherever possible.
You, as company owner, are set apart with much responsibility. Those who do not respect good advice and will not yield to historically correct teachers, are unteachable and unfortunately, for the time being, impossible.
This is when the assessment must be made — to agree to disagree does not mean cosign incorrect thinking, it does however, still allow that we wish good things for another, even when the differences are irreconcilable. Before allowing an argument to be lost to chaos — try one more time to adhere to the golden rule of Chapter 26.
Romans 12
English Standard Version
A Living Sacrifice
12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers,[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.[b] 2 Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.[d]
Justified Resentment is the worst anchor and interrupter for success. People do it all the time. One mistake and you’re toast, one infraction and you are irrelevant and your position impertinent.
People need time to consider their actions. I need to consider my responsibility in a position given to me by God. How long do I wait? For sure, you stop anything that is causing harm. Once that is accomplished, there can be a time where there is nothing more to say — perhaps in this time, God can do a work. If I feel like I need to call somebody back and reboot or go over all my points again, I do not. When it is time to pause. I must pause.
Ephesians 4:31 ESV / 184 helpful votes
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
I got a few quotes for you:
“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
― Mark Twain
“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison
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“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.”
― Jesse Jackson
In regards to myself, I remember the following:
“The Measure of the Man is How Fast He Gets Off Of It.”
Original quote by me.., for me.
There must be alignment before there can be assignment. People must be in order before they can handle anymore responsibility, even existing responsibility — myself included.
Chapter 26, leaving People with Their Dignity 2022 – You know an easy way to “Leave People With Their Dignity?” I remember my own sins, all of them over my entire life. Definitely keeps me humble and gives me good testimony, my own history of failed concepts, all stated with such lofty presence of mind and mouth — all yielding, in the end — nothing good, these things to share with people — before they take that fateful step — in the wrong direction. Amen.
