CHAPTER 26: LEAVING PEOPLE WITH THEIR DIGNITY 2024
Just about impossible, isn’t it? I can’t even leave myself with my dignity half the time. Everyday we’re all challenged with making a difficult point and loving people at the same time. Everybody wants to win the argument. Everybody wants to be the brilliant voice not realizing, until it’s too late, all dignity is lost.
2 Peter 1:5-8 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
Titus 2:7-8 ESV Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
Again, nearly impossible. It’s so easy to give-in to self-righteous and/or indignant. After all the love, the Lord did for me, could I just pass it along. Romans 11 states: “Branches were broken off that I might be grafted in.” Grafted in to God’s chosen people, that’s what it says, and for such a gift could I make peace somehow instead of anything else?
Romans 11:25 a For I do not desire, brethren, that you should be ignorant of this mystery, lest you should be wise in your own opinion…
Many people humbled themselves before Jesus to receive the miracle of “restore, regenerate, forgiveness, Faith, health, and Jesus lovingly granted their requests with dignity, each one.
James 3:3New International Version 3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
Sometimes it’s impossible to let people off the hook or help them, they simply won’t allow it. I’ve often said; “I can have anything I want in this life if I’m willing to work with people I don’t like.”
I’ve watched people fight for their right to be stupid. Can I still prevail? Probably not, but I must try, as Jesus did for me.
Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Our fiduciary duty as CEOs requires us to lead, teach and inspire (LTI). How can I possibly set people straight in the heat of an argument? It’s tough. There are four principals the I’ve come up with that remind me to do the right thing. I don’t have time for all four, so the following is the second of four. “Always supportive, slightly detached and always-always equal.” Always supportive in a situation, slightly detached so I don’t take it personally and react, always equal, never above or below another person, equal as God sees us.
Titus 2:7-8 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
Well, it seems they say something bad anyway, right? I must find a way to settle the moment down, not escalate, knowing that for the most part people are going to disagree anyway. Tough assignment to re-align for goodness in such conditions.
Psalm 32:9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, Else they will not come near you.
The very first lesson about leaving people with their dignity, is that I have to maintain my own dignity. Listen, Identify and Redirect people, redirect them back to work. However first, I need to hear the grievance and by doing so, be thoughtful of another person’s challenge, and there is not one grievance anyone can give that I haven’t been through and that’s key. Listen, identify and re-direct.
“I’ve been there before, Bob, I get it, now let’s get back to work!” Never co-sign bad behavior or side-step, a solution is inevitably necessary, but sometimes a little break is good. “Bob, I need to consider your thoughts, let’s get back to work, I think you have some very good points.”
“Ralph, let’s take a minute, I’ve had these problems before and they were tough then, and they’re tough now. I know where you’re coming from. Let’s take a time to appreciate your comments and reschedule a meeting later today.”
2 Timothy 2:24
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness
“Always supportive, slightly detached and always-always equal.”I am never above or below anyone, I am slightly detached to observe without harm, remaining equal and supportive wherever possible. Seems so simple, but we all know it’s not, temperament, judgement, anger, “how dare you”, all of it gets in the way.
Justified Resentment is the worst anchor and interrupter for success. “You did me wrong so I hate you forever.” In such a moment, pause, a super important word.
Ephesians 4:31 ESV / 184 helpful votes
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” ― Mark Twain
“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison
“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.” ― Jesse Jackson
“The Measure of the Man is How Fast He Gets Off Of It.”
Original quote by me.., for me.
Matthew 7:5
New International Version
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Question: What happens when I’m the one that’s wrong and in my point making, I’ve stripped every one of their dignity?
Answer: Do you know the difference between a jackass and a good man? A good man says, sorry I was a jackass yesterday.”
James 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Psalm 1:1-3
..but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.
Colossians 1:9-10 9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;
Do you know what you learned today? If you can’t answer that quickly, there’s a good chance that in a tough situation, you’ll make it worse rather than disarm the situation. That’ll leave two people without their dignity, you and whoever was counting on you. Pay attention Joe Biden when you send long range missiles into Russia without mentioning it to the Kremlin. I wonder what bible verse the president referred to before he put those missiles in Zelensky’s hands.
Romans 12:18, If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
There is something to consider, when I make my coffee in the morning, I put a certain amount of cream in it, however if there’s just a little bit left in the creamer carton, should I pour that little bit out so I can throw away the carton? I risk ruining the coffee. For me, it’s like negotiating, when I’ve said enough, I’ve said enough and the yield will have it’s best advantage, to add anymore words, risks the entire endeavor. Thus, a little tiny bit of cream, left in the carton, goes back in the refrigerator and the coffee is good.., amen.
